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  • Sanyade Okoli

A Different Perspective on Disappointment



So here’s the thing, I have felt like God has been disappointing me a lot recently. I mean, a lot. Big things and little things but painful nevertheless. I have cried, accused Him, queried Him. I even wrote a lamentation. 😂😂😂 Such has been my level of pain.


The day I wrote the lamentation, I kid you not, had God appeared to me I would have wrestled Him to the floor. Taken Him right out. You know that surprise tackle at the legs that no one can withstand. That’s what I wanted to do to Him.


The good thing however is that He and I, we talk. We have a relationship. So as much as I was upset with Him, He was also the only one I could go to for comfort.


Having said that, it’s not that the conversations always flow though. 😊 There was one morning a few weeks ago when I got up to pray. My husband suggested we pray together and then went on to ask me to start the prayers. I refused. I said that my intention was to simply sit before God but there was nothing I actually wanted to say to Him. In short, I was coming to God but I still wasn’t talking to Him. 😀


I laugh now but I was not laughing at the time.


Fast forward to the other morning; I was writing to Him (do not be “oppressed”! It’s not something I usually do but I had listened to a Ted Talk https://youtu.be/aTgPJQ9Dy7Q about writing that week that really blessed me and I thought to try it). After having “toasted” God I went on to write, “Please forgive me for all the ways I upset You, I disappointed You.” And I stopped in my tracks.



It’s so easy to see things from our perspective and not to look at things from another angle; His angle.


It hit me! What about me?! What about all the ways I have "disappointed" God?! Letting Him down time and time again. Promising not to repeat my mistakes only for me to go on and do the same thing again; if not that day then perhaps that week. Maybe it takes a month or even years but there I go, "disappointing" Him again....


How does He feel? How does He handle it? Clearly much better than I do! He doesn’t stop talking to me. He doesn’t try to take me down or out. He simply loves me through it. Wooing me to come back to a place of intimacy with Him.


He is not surprised by my mistakes. He is not shaken or distraught. He already knew I would make mistakes and went ahead to prepare the solution to my shortcomings. He sent Jesus to pay the ultimate price that would wipe away every conceivable sin of mine; of yours. He then went on to send His Spirit down to help us live this life in a way that is pleasing to Him and better for us.


I am not preaching at you. I am talking to myself. I am reminding myself. I am processing the truth. What it means... for me... for you... for all of us.


Yes, I will feel disappointed by Him. But nowhere as often and as much as I will "disappoint" Him. But that’s ok though, because:


“Who could ever separate us from the endless love of God’s Anointed One? Absolutely no one! For nothing in the universe has the power to diminish His love toward us. Troubles, pressures, and problems are unable to come between us and heaven’s love. What about persecutions, deprivations, dangers, and death threats? No, for they are all impotent to hinder omnipotent love,” (Romans 8:35 TPT)


“So now I live with the confidence that there is nothing in the universe with the power to separate us from God’s love. I’m convinced that His love will triumph over death, life’s troubles, fallen angels, or dark rulers in the heavens. There is nothing in our present or future circumstances that can weaken His love. There is no power above us or beneath us—no power that could ever be found in the universe that can distance us from God’s passionate love, which is lavished upon us through our Lord Jesus, the Anointed One!” (Romans 8:38-39 TPT)


Reflections

  • Ask the Holy Spirit to show you ways you may have "disappointed" God in the past.

  • If you have not done so already, ask Him for His forgiveness.

  • Consider how God remained faithful to you despite your shortcomings.

  • With the help of the Holy Spirit, think of the ways God has disappointed you.

  • If you haven’t done so already, forgive Him.

  • Ask God to show you how much He loves you. In fact, ask Him to whisper sweet nothings to you. 😉


Enjoy! 😊


Note

I put "disappointed" in quotes when referring to how God feels about our shortcomings because, let's face it, it's not like we can do anything that will catch God by surprise.


Like this? Then please comment, share and/or subscribe for more "weekly-ish" posts. You can also follow me on Insatgram @sanyadeokoli where I share "daily-ish" pithy musings.

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