• Sanyade Okoli

Another Form of “Household Enemies”

Updated: Feb 22

Let me amuse you a little.... when I lived in the UK my mum used to send me these Mountain of Fire prayer sheets and I would be most bewildered by the prayer points. 😊 I simply could not relate to them as they were so far removed from my reality.

That didn’t last forever though. I moved to the continent... My eye come open! Kai! One day you will hear full gist!

Anyway, from living back home I came to understand the concept of “household enemies”; essentially people within your own family (nuclear or extended) who are “doing you”. In short, doing juju for you. When you hear stories, ehn! You will wonder!

But here’s the thing, do you realize that you and I could inadvertently be “household enemies” in the lives of our loved ones? It’s not with juju o... it’s with our words. I think we all know by now that the children’s phrase, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me!” is a big fat lie!!! A complete and utter falsehood!!

Words have such power - to hurt or to heal.

A careless word here, a harsh retort there, can do such damage. God help us!

Two things make this more acute within a family. Firstly, by virtue of the physical and familial closeness, loved ones have direct access to our lives and to our hearts. They can step up to us and say things that strangers would never do. And even when someone with whom we do not have much of a relationship says negative things, our emotional filters are likely to sift some of it out so that not everything penetrates our hearts. Generally, not so with family. We believe they love us and mean us well so we give them more access to our lives.

This very same fact has another negative effect. Because we are free and comfortable with loved ones, we also do not always sufficiently guard our mouths. We say things without due thought and consideration to the potential effect on them because we know we love them, we know they know we love them, so we believe we shouldn’t have to filter our words.

That there is a recipe for disaster; the lethal combination of unguarded mouths and hearts.

Our words don’t just affect the emotions of our loved ones but also their minds. We say things that, brick by brick, form thought patterns in their minds - be it positive or negative. Mindsets upon which their entire lives will be built - for good or for bad. How sobering is that?!

This tells me that if I say I love someone, I have an even greater responsibility to ensure that the words I speak to them are true, noble, right, pure, lovely and admirable; spoken from a heart that reflects the Father. In short, words that bring and not suck life.



Can you believe that less than an hour after first publishing this piece I made a comment to my eldest daughter as we were setting out on a walk which, in hindsight, was actually quite cutting. She stopped dead in her tracks, turned towards me with eyes wide open and responded, "Mama, say you are sorry!" I froze, aghast at myself; I couldn't believe I had just been a household enemy to my daughter, so soon after my post. Oh how easy it is to say hurtful things, intentionally or not, forgetting that we can never take our words back. Truly, may God help us.


  • Ask the Holy Spirit to show you the ways and words you sometimes speak to loved ones which may cause them hurt

  • Apologise to those affected

  • Ask Father God to give you the grace and wisdom to guard your heart and your mouth

Liked this? Then please "help me sell market" by commenting, sharing and/or subscribing for more "weekly-ish" posts. 😊You can also follow me on Instagram @sanyadeokoli where I share "daily-ish" pithy musings. Thank you!! ❤️❤️❤️

#justasiam #authenticfaith #God #heart #mouth #love


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