• Sanyade Okoli

You are a “Heavy Somebody”! Know It and Own It!

We all have something the world needs. Because we come in different shapes and sizes, having weathered different storms, we sometimes lose sight of our own value.

It’s so easy to spend time looking at who you’re not and what you don’t have; worse still, comparing yourself to others. That, my friend, is what emotional self-destruction is made of.

One of the negative outcomes of the pandemic and its related slow-down has been this periodic feeling of lethargy, a malaise. Feeling like, in some ways, you’re going nowhere fast. Wondering whether you even want to be where you are or where you should be going....

I’ve definitely been feeling like that and I attended a couple of webinars in the last week or so that were just the right kick up the proverbial that I needed. It forced me to do some self-reflection to assess where I’m really at. I used that as a basis to determine where I really want to be and what I needed to do to get there.

I have outlined the questions I asked myself in the Microsoft Word (can input your responses but doesn't show well on a phone) and Pdf (readily viewed on all devices) files attached below. I am no coach but I am sure you will find it useful to go through the exercise yourself.

JAIA Self-Reflection Questionnaire_MsWor
Download • 345KB

JAIA Self-Reflection Questionnaire_Pdf
Download P • 269KB

I cannot begin to tell you how uplifted I was by doing the exercise. I was reminded that despite how it may sometimes seem or feel, my strengths far outweigh my weaknesses. I “owned“ what I liked and what I didn’t like. Permit me to toot my horn for a second; I was blown away by how much experience I had - 25 years no be beans! But beat this, it wasn’t just about the technical skills gained (or not gained) over the time, it was the challenges surmounted. It included experiences such as running a business under difficult circumstances, dealing with difficult people, working through three financial/economic crises, etc. What the South Africans call “school fees”. It is so easy to overlook such experiences but they are of tremendous value!

Everyone recognizes that in the era of the “new normal”, soft skills will be even more important than before. I attended another webinar a couple of weeks ago (believe me I don’t spend all my time attending webinars! 😊 I am just careful to select ones that I think I could really benefit from) where the speaker was saying that we have transitioned from a time of predictable change to unpredictability; as he put it, “turbulence”.

In such times, it is very important for you to know who you are, what’s important to you, the value you bring, etc. Think of them as compasses and anchors as you sail in choppy waters. Even when they can’t help you to navigate forward, they will save you from sinking.

It took me a few days to complete the exercise but I wouldn’t lie, at the end I just felt like a "Heavy Somebody”! 😊 I still don’t have full clarity as to where I am headed (I think the Lord has chosen to keep me a little blind on certain things so I don’t rush out ahead of Him, doing “oversabi” 😊) but at least I have a better understanding and appreciation of who I am and who I am journeying with. Self-awareness and self-esteem play such significant roles in our motivation and success throughout our lives.

So, come on! “Ginja” yourself! Do the exercise! 😊 Don’t be put off by the length. Take your time and allow it to speak to you. It’s a time of reflection so please don’t rush. As I said, I did it over several days; a little at a time. Be very honest with yourself; no one has to ever see it. Where you see yourself giving similar responses to different questions, pay attention; it’s telling you something. And remember, all experience - whether good or bad, hard skills or soft skills, professional or domestic - has its value and someone out there needs what you have to offer.

I look forward to hearing wonderful stories from you 😊. In the meantime, please do reach out if anything is unclear or I can help in anyway.


Recent Posts

See All

©2020 by Just As I Am. Proudly created with